Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Date Night "R"

I admit it.  We'd fallen off the ABC Date Night wagon. Well, technically Hubby fell off first and then I let him off the hook way too easily.  It was early November when our "R" Date Night should have taken place and yet when the time came, Hubby said nothing and did nothing.  My feelings were a little hurt and I thought I'd wait it out and see if he'd say anything first. (gotta love those mind games)  Before I knew it, Thanksgiving was only a few days away.
But, I waited.  And waited.
Eventually, curiosity got the best of me and I decided to just ask him if he had forgotten?  I did feel a bit sad to think he'd just brushed it aside and the truth is he didn't really have a great answer.  He just kind of mumbled something unintelligible, and for good measure, he threw in a sheepish smile.  Hmmm. At this point, my mind immediately shifts to ridiculous perfectly normal questions. Doesn't he like Date Night?  Is he tired of it?  Why doesn't he like Date Night?  Why doesn't he care?  Maybe, he just doesn't want to spend time with me?  Fair questions in my book but in the world of men, it seems that you can just forget, or not have a great idea, then procrastinate and hope for the best.
I'd love to blame it all on him but honestly, I should have spoken up sooner.
One of the things I love best about this idea is that we take turns planning the dates for each other. Several women have told me that their husbands would never want to do the planning (? what's up with that ?) so--- I've been very thankful that hubby has been a great sport from the beginning.
We've each had to put aside all expectations and just go with whatever the other had planned.
We've each come up with some great ideas and yes, some semi-clinkers but at least we tried....we made the time.....and we were always blessed for the effort.
But being forgotten didn't feel so wonderful.
And if I hadn't waited so long to speak up, maybe Hubby wouldn't have thought it must not have really mattered to me.
So, in a way, "R" is for 'reality'---Someone had to make the first move.
And, even though it technically wasn't my turn--
(Ahem....this is where I get some kind of gold star, right?)
I decided that since I had an idea and we were only a few days into the New Year, it was the perfect time to start anew and change things for the better.  In order to get the proverbial ball rolling again, I swallowed my pride and suggested we could use Date Night "R" to talk about "Resolutions."
In our marriage, I'm for sure the planner and the list maker and hubby is more the spontaneous, let's "just do it" kind of guy, so he probably thought it more like I was out for REVENGE when I suggested the idea.
But, as usual, he surprised me and gave it his all.  We spent the evening talking about all kinds of things that we'd like to improve on in the year to come.  We set some individual goals as well as a few that we can do together.  I'm excited about all the plans we've made for 2012 beginning with:  Resume ABC Date Nights!

1 comment:

  1. Good for you! I'll be interested to hear what S brings!